Psychosis
by Zelia Theb
Summary: But Koenma...he showed me every second. He forced me to run in place to watch as the one I loved claimed the life of royalty. [YusukeHiei][ShounenAi]
1. Chapter 1

Another one that has been on my abstract plate for a while. And yet, WHY haven't I finished my other stories? Don't worry. I work on everything just a little bit at a time. This one happened to finish itself, and has started its own second installment.

I just wanted something twisted. And it came from a conversation with Agent Dark Moose. This first one is for her.

_Yu Yu Hakusho_ © Yoshihiro Togashi.

Psychosis  
By Zelia Theb

Psychosis...the unbearable torture of this insomnia feeds me right into its hands. At first I denied its cruel fangs; but the teeth continued to tear at me; pillaging my skin and bones to wear as its garments.

I always came back to this conclusion; that I was purely an insane man due to the poison of the demonic blood that coursed through me. That I was lust driven by some unknown mating ritual of my kind, and that I was meant to learn what I was through the trials of Hellfire.

But _he_; he who captured me within his forceful chains of aura so long ago; _he _has captured me again. My mind is always racing - never stopping never breathing never resting never never never; it keeps me going to that fantasy; that silly idea that _I_ could be his.

I could not believe it when I saw it; my spiritual feet never slowed their pace; not even for a second. But Koenma...that _damned bastard_...he showed me every second. He forced me to run in place; to watch as the one I loved claimed the life of royalty.

"And Yusuke," his adolescent voice had said to me, "My father is demanding immediate retribution."

Naively I had agreed to this mission; having been temporarily unemployed for a year.

"Just tell me what you want me to do, okay?" I remarked, smug and impatient as usual; all the while thankful that something had come along. Keiko, my...wife-to-be...was getting on my nerves. Everything that I had known would have happened...everything that _used_ to happen...it exploded exponentially into one big torrent of fighting, miscommunication, and nagging.

Anything to get out of doing housework. I had sworn that; and was fed up with hearing about how living together before marriage was bad enough as it was.

And my wish was granted.

"He wants you to capture the perpetrator; dead or alive; and then bring him back here..."

"Dead or alive?" What the hell? Was I supposed to carry some dead body around? No...I wouldn't. But at the time...at the time...

"Yes, Yusuke. By whatever means necessary."

At the time, I didn't know. How could I have known? I could have never known, I would have never imagined that the next time I would see the source of my insanity that I would see him like this.

"Sure," I had answered with indifference, "Whatever. Easy enough."

I wouldn't know, I couldn't know, I could never, ever know.

It would never be easy enough. I could never let it be easy enough.

"Here," he said to me, pointing to the monitor that was his eyes and ears on the world.

How could I know? Never never never. But _he_, that _damned Koenma_! He should have known! He can see what my life is like. Why didn't he care enough to watch me? Why didn't he know?

"You see, Yusuke," he said, ignoring my eyes metaphorically bleeding. I silently wished that flies would consume that which lay in those deep and now horrible dark circled eye sockets. I wished that something could take it all away.

Damn eternity! Damn this blood within me! Damn it!

"Yusuke, are you even paying attention?

"Look there. In the corner. Do you see him."

Slowly I nodded as I kept my stomach in the pits of my tarnished soul. I saw what I wished I was not seeing. His black cloak wrapped around him, tight at the shoulders that he always kept covered with his white scarf.

"You can see his spiky hair sticking out into the light. Follow that hair, Yusuke, because the rest is going to be fast and hard to keep up with."

That hair...beautiful silken strands of snowflakes in midnight... It flew like a streak of lightning...flashed like it had never existed...

My heart skipped a beat and in that instant...

The blood of the Royal Family was spilled...that hair...that wild hair...

"It's Hiei, you know. We believe Mukuro might be involved, and next to her, the only one who can stop him is _you_."

My insides bled from the missing rhythm.

"It's not Hiei, Koenma," I said, trying my damnedest to maintain my composure. My thoughts had stopped...I didn't want them to stop. I didn't know I couldn't know I didn't...no I couldn't...

"It is, Yusuke," he "assured" me, as if I were going to believe him...

"I'll stop him, but I'll prove to you that it's an imposter." They came back...momentarily. My thoughts. They were there again. I was Yusuke. I was the human. I was Yusuke.

And he wanted to say something to me. He wanted to argue with me because that is what he likes to do. He likes to think that he is always right...because some divine being conceived him he acts like he's a prince.

"Fine. But do it _quick_, Yusuke," he warned me, "Because when my father gets impatient, he might revoke the "alive" portion of his order..."

No no no! I vowed then, I vowed...no, King Yama...he would kill me before he would kill Hiei...

I'm going to live for an eternity. I'm going to survive longer than Keiko...

I need Hiei.

"God damn it! Kuwabara!" I yell, "Get your ass to this door and let me in!" I chuck another rock at his window. I should have had rocks then...I should have smashed the screen to pieces.

The door briskly opens. "_DAMN IT, URAMESHI!_" my friend screams at me, "Some people are tryin' to sleep! They have shit they need to study for!"

"I need to talk to you, right now," I say sternly, pushing past him and marching upstairs into his room. A pillow and some sheets lay on the floor, probably tossed off in anger. But he couldn't possibly be pissed at me after this.

He comes in and closes the door quietly behind him, as if trying to not awaken his sister. She's up, I can feel her heartbeat in my head...

"What the hell is it? Don't you have a stand to set up?"

His bronze curls are messy. His slanted eyes stare straight into me. I know what he is thinking; he is thinking that he can read my mind. He is thinking that it is just so important that I won't even tell him. He is thinking that I don't have the balls to.

"Hiei. Koenma is after Hiei."

His left eyebrow perks up. "Huh?" he asks, suddenly intrigued and forgetting about sleep already.

"I trust you, Kuwabara," I tell him.

"Urameshi...I don't like this feeling..." he remarks. His damn psychic abilities are picking up on something again. I just know it.

"I don't either," I reply, stretching my hands behind my back. He sits on his disorganized bed, and I sit next to him.

Never...would anyone believe that a demon would sit with a human...

That a human...

I'm human.

"He showed me a video..." I trail off, beginning to stutter a bit, "H-he...thinks it's Hiei. He thinks that Hiei killed his cousin. I mean...his...his father. King Yama...K-King Yama..."

"Urameshi!" Kuwabara exclaims, "Hiei wouldn't do that! Not without a good reason!"

"I-I know..."

"Did he ask you to capture him?"

"Yeah..." My face begins to show it; my fear. My anxiety. I cover it up with my ambitions. I'll prove Hiei innocent. I'll prove that there is an imposter!

"Yusuke..."

"He wants him dead or alive! Dead! Dead! Kuwabara, don't you see what that means?"

"I...I know, man. You need to prove that it wasn't him...or help him out. I guess it depends what you think."

"What I think? I agreed to it before I knew who it was. I couldn't know...I wouldn't even know how to guess!"

He shushes me. I've gotten way too loud. I should have said something...I should have hit him! Koenma!

"Hey man...just...hey!" He takes me by the shoulders, and my head is jerked up to meet his vision. I guess I must have fallen...I fell a long time ago.

"I want you to tell me exactly what is going on in your head, Yusuke. I want to know why this is upsetting you. I want to know why you didn't punch out Koenma the second he gave you this mission. That's not you, man."

"I can't kill Hiei."

"Neither can I. He might be a twerp, but he's got a good head on his shoulders, ya know?"

"He's not a twerp!" I cry out, shoving Kuwabara in the chest, leaving him to brace himself against his bedroom wall.

"What the hell!" he retorts in protest of my attack...my attack...my pain onto another friend...

"Please, Kuwabara..." I plead, "Please help me protect him."

He nods in agreement; it's a promise among men. Human. Demon. Men. "I'll help ya. I've never seen you act this way, man." He stares at me directly again, forgetting my earlier aggression, and asks, "When did you fall in love with Hiei?"

I look at him blankly, as if to say forever.

_Forever forever forever_... It echoes in my brain. Resonating reverberating re-

"I can't believe I didn't know. I didn't know." He shakes his head in his palms, obviously upset that his abilities have failed him.

"Listen, Yusuke. I'm gonna help you. And when this is all over, we are gonna talk about you and Keiko, okay? But before we leave to where ever, we have a few things to do..."

"Thanks man," I sigh in relief.

"First off, tell her what you want to tell her. But don't leave her hanging. Don't leave her worrying about ya, okay?" I nod, it seems only right...it won't take my life. I'll come back. She won't be dead by then, I'll be back.

Kuwabara is pleased. "Go home and pack. I'm gonna make a phone-call and then we can eat somethin' before we leave. Just meet me back here."

_To Be Continued..._

I promised something twisted. At least this first chapter is.

If something is confusing, it's most likely because that is how I intended it to be. I want consistency...but no consistency. And as usual, I like to stay true to my titles.

I hope you like it. Please leave me a review, especially now that I can reply them. )

Zelia


	2. Chapter 2

I apologize if some of these ideas have been used elsewhere. I actually don't read a lot of fanfictions so consider it a coincidence. But let me know all the same.

I'm also sorry that I forgot to warn people that this is post-series, and may contain spoilers for the end of the series.

Thank you for supporting, reading, and reviewing this fic.

_Yu Yu Hakusho_ © Yoshihiro Togashi.

Psychosis  
By Zelia Theb

Phobia. This torture that my fears inflict upon me quarters my soul into bloodied parts. This vampire calling...it thirsts for my sanity...my sanity. Always fading always slipping always always always. The fear pulls me into its cold embrace...tempting me with sweet candies of asylum...safety from the very thing that holds me.

Kurama. Kurama...you always knew...what was best. You always knew what was going on his head. Were you lovers? No, no you weren't. He despised you at times. Your red hair...so unnatural; were you asked to dye it by your teachers? Kuwabara was, and he was teased. And he fought...and he would fight me, so the teachers that hated both of us could see that he was number one...at least at some things if he had such unnatural orange hair.

Kurama...you could kill him. You have the power to. Would you kill him? Would you kill your former partner in crime? No...no...no you wouldn't.

"I will help you," Kurama says, "I will help you find Hiei."

"But you're not going to try and turn him in, right? You're not gonna kill him, are you?"

Kurama's eyes go wide as I accuse him. "Yusuke! Of course not. I would never; I _could_ never do such a thing. He is my friend. He is _our_ friend."

No. No you wouldn't.

Koenma said only Mukuro and I could do it...

But did he...what did he do? Did he secretly hire you too? Does he know what I will do? I'll be used to find him, and you'll be used to kill him.

"Kurama," Kuwabara states, "Yusuke just wants ta be sure that Koenma didn't double-cross him and hire you or anything."

Kurama takes my friend...my trustworthy friend...by the shoulders; much like Kuwabara had done to me earlier; and says with all seriousness, "Kazu, I swear to you, upon the life of my mother, that I will do nothing of the sort. My alliance is with you, Yusuke, and Hiei. My _friendship_ lies with the three of you. _Not_ Koenma."

"I know, man," my trustworthy friend; my ally; responds, "It's just that Urameshi has gotta know. He hasn't been himself lately."

"I'm right here!" I remind them.

Kuwabara nods. "I know. But I wanna say everything openly around ya, ya know? You need to know who's on your side, and if I started whispering in everyone's ear, that would make ya kinda jumpy."

"Y-you're right."

"Yusuke, are you ill?"

I look Kurama's way with curiosity. Am I ill? Am I ill? Sick to my stomach...sick in my head...sick all over... I wasn't thinking. Kuwabara was thinking. He is thinking. He is a thinker, that Kuwabara. Always thinking. Always something.

The redhead touches my head, like I was feverish. "You're not warm. Would you mind if I drew some blood, Yusuke?"

"What!" Kuwabara shouts suddenly in my defense, "Kurama! That's not gonna help him!"

Take my blood. Give it to Yama. Tell him I did it. Tell Keiko I will see her in Spirit World...tell Hiei...don't tell Hiei...

"Kuwabara, Yusuke," he addresses us, "I want to test a small sample of your blood, Yusuke. To make sure that everything is all right with you."

"I'm not okay, Kurama," I snap, "I'm not okay and Koenma knows it!"

"Kurama, how are ya going to test his blood? I mean, ya got a lab or somethin' I don't know about?"

Kurama shakes his head, left and right, leaving trails of blood...trails of hair...whipping...whipping...

"There is a plant in Demon World that changes colors if it comes in contact with infected human blood." He blinks. "Almost like litmus paper."

"Do it...do it..., no, Kuwabara, you do it."

"Yusuke, I swear to you that I am your friend, you must believe me."

Kuwabara tells Kurama that it's fine if he does it, and I hold out my left hand while Kuwabara retrieves something sharp. He comes back from his kitchen with a dinner knife, a towel, and a small first-aid kit that he must keep around. I watch with interest as he pricks my fingers with the sharp blade, causing a dome of scarlet liquid to seep out. He lets it out, lets my life, liquid blood...

"Does it hurt, man?" Kuwabara asks as he bandages me up. I shake my head negatively, I am in no pain; not in my fingers; not in my hands.

Kurama has already tested the blood. That was quick...he anticipated this...he was ready for it! He preemptively knew; is he clairvoyant?

"Yusuke, there is nothing wrong with you," Kurama reports, "Except that I did find something unusual. Yusuke, you must have noticed that your heart felt different after your heritage awakened within you, right?" I motion a "yes" with my head. "Your kind...the breed of demon that you hail from, feeds upon humans. Since you have neglected this need, and thank goodness you have, the demon blood within you is literally devouring the human blood within you. You are cannibalizing yourself without even realizing it."

I'm eating myself?

"So I guess the phrase "So hungry that my stomach's eating itself" is true then?" I remark in a sudden moment of clarity.

"Uh, yes, and no."

"What can we do to help him?"

Kuwabara, always thinking of others.

Kurama sighs deeply. "Well, if Genkai were capable of a powerful Spirit Wave anymore, we could have resorted to _that_, however..."

Time keeps ticking, ticking fast and ticking far. Tick tock. I'm going insane, and now there's proof. Yama wants to off me too.

"He could technically feed on something far more powerful than humans."

My taller friend's face distorts in disgust. "Feed? Something like a vampire or a demon or whatever?"

Kurama chuckles at Kuwabara's naiveness. "Kazu, vampires are a myth invented back in Eastern Europe, due to the way the people of that region reacted to a certain illness regarding certain skin pigments." Silly Kuwabara. Vampires don't exist.

Kurama steadies himself, and continues, "But what I really mean, is someone like a deity. Their blood, really, as the rest of the body is merely just fibers and proteins and what-have-you."

"You mean like Koenma."

"Fine, whatever," I blurt out impatiently, "There's some nasty shit going on in my head right now, just find me a temporary fix. I need to find Hiei." Kill Koenma, no, no. He told me ahead of time. He warned me the only way he could. He wants me dead.

"A ward will do, Yusuke. Genkai should be able to make one powerful enough for you." Relief, a sigh of relief. A breath of fresh air. The mountains. Grandma. Genkai.

"It's better off we go there too," Kurama suddenly says, as if he had completely forgotten a very important factor in the equation until just now, "If Yama is behind these orders, then they may try to use Yukina as a pawn to ensnare Hiei."

Kuwabara puts away the medical kit quickly, and exclaims in distress, "Well let's get movin', then!"

_To Be Continued..._

One of my Yu Yu fics will reach 100 reviews. Somehow. I won't stop until it happens. And I probably won't stop after it does either.

Story wise, I'm happy it is seemingly predictable. Because one hell of a twist should be coming your way. When and where is still a mystery.

-Zelia


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